Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
