White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
