Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
