Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
