I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
