well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
