My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
