he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
