Are we in a gay sports bar?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize