Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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