i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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