The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
