all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
