I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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