why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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