is your mom at the bar?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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