@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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