two words...techno handjob
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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