I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize