So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
