i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
