dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize