God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
false alarm. still invincible.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
