omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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