Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
