no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
