WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
