I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
