john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
