I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
