He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
