.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
