i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
