I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
