i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
