so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize