I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
