I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
