I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
