Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
