I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
