a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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