I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
