I wanna passion pit in your ass
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
