Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
