I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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