What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize