If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
