Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
