I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
