was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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