is your mom at the bar?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
