Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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