All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
