He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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