I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You have to summon your inner elephant
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
