Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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