T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Help. Why am I so naked?
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