The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
