he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
