think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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