Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
