she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
