i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
