Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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