Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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