i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
