I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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