Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
