Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Let's paint friendship bongs
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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